Opening Up The Five-Word Question

Ron Sukenick Networking

One way to go beyond networking is to take business encounters from mere question-answer fact-finding to the kind of open flow of ideas and information that leads to connection.

Even though I’ve been emphasizing listening with purpose in my recent blog posts, I need to emphasize that building business relationships is about how you answer questions as much as it is about how you ask them.

There’s one question that you will certainly be asked many times. You may be meeting your girlfriend’s parents, or your boyfriend’s boss. You may be at a formal networking event, a family or high school reunion, or just at a party. Sure as my name’s Ron Sukenick, someone’s going to ask you the five-worder, “So, what do you do?”

Even if you’ve spent the past thirty years with a company you love, doing work you adore, maybe you’re sometimes tempted to shut off conversation by answering something like this… “Oh, a lot of nothing. I’m independently wealthy. I just attend networking functions for laughs!”

The five-worder is what I call a closed-end question, meaning a fact question and facts are what are expected by way of an answer. “I sell software for Dell.” “I’m the marketing coordinator for a small business.” “I’m a realtor.”

Once you’ve provided your factual response to the five-worder, the only place the questioner has to go is to ask for more facts! “For Whom? “How long have you been doing that?” Pretty soon, all you’ve got is an interrogation, not a conversation!

That’s why one of the things I teach is to offer an open-ended answer, one designed to make the other person want to say, “Tell me more!” “I help harness technology so it works for you, not you for it!” “I match business stories with business customers.” “I move American people from one American Dream to another.”

Your answer doesn’t need to be “cute-sy,” but it does need to convey your passion about the work you do, and it needs to move the conversation further, not stop it dead in its tracks!

Remember, to go Beyond Networking, we need to go beyond question-answer sessions to true conversations.